HFM

griffin is currently sick. he has hand, foot, mouth disease (HFM). he probably got it last week at the gym (in the child care he loves to play in). he has a rash all over his body and little tiny blisters on his nose, around his mouth, on his hands, and on the back of his throat. he's basically just hopped up on benadryl, tylenol, and a mixture of benadryl and maalox to soothe the blisters on his throat. poor guy. it's not supposed to hurt, except for the ones in the throat, but it looks bad. he has a rash all over his body. little tiny red bumps. all over his legs, feet, little hands, and arms. it's so sad. the doctor said he's probably drooling so much because it hurts to swallow. he can't be around other kids until 24 hours after his rash goes away. and that could take 7-14 days. so, i'm basically going to be stuck in the house for that long. with a rash-y, virus-y, cranky little boy. wish me luck.

confessions of an accidental co-sleeper

the first night we brought griffin home from the hospital he was 27 days old, and i was terrified. it was the first time he wasn't hooked up to monitors that beeped if something happened to him; monitors that i could look at and see his heart rate, pulse ox, and make sure he was okay... monitors that told me he was still alive. he slept in our bed that night, curled up in between scott and me. i woke up every 5 minutes to hear him breathe. i felt crazy, but i knew i didn't want to be a co-sleeping mom. i nannied for those moms. those moms who hadn't spent the night alone with their husband for 10+ months. those moms whose 2 year olds are still in bed with them. those moms who sleep on the floor with their kids, while their husbands sleep in the bed. i did not want to be that mom. so on night number two griffin slept in a bassinet, next to the bed. that only lasted about a week or so. and then we put him in his crib (in his own room). at this point he was waking up once, maybe twice a night. by 3 months he was weened off any and all nighttime feedings and was sleeping from 7pm-7am. it was amazing. and then he hit 5 months old. something changed, and he just started waking up. and instead of just letting him cry we spent every night trying to figure out why he was crying (teething?, hungry?, poopy?, etc). we should have just let him cry, but instead we got up with him, fed him bottles, and changed diapers. by 6 and a half months we were just completely exhausted from getting up every.single.night (and for some reason i literally couldn't handle hearing him cry it out in the middle of the night) and one night we brought him into bed with us. it was 2am and we just wanted to sleep. and he slept until 7am. it was so nice. from then on he came into our bed maybe once or twice a week for a little while, and every once in awhile he'd sleep through the night. and then it stopped. he started waking up every night just to come into bed with us. it got earlier and earlier too. at first he woke up between 2am-4am, and then it was 11pm, and then it was 9pm, and then he wouldn't even fall asleep in his own crib. it was heinous. there have been many a night where i've laid next to griffin in my bed at 7pm trying to get him to fall asleep. i hated it. and after more than two months of that i finally hit my breaking point. i'd become a co-sleeper. i'd become that mom that i never wanted to be. it was deeply affecting my relationship, and affecting my feelings for griffin. sometimes it's nice to snuggle with your baby, but not when they're crawling all over you at 3am. i'm happy to say that one week shy of his 10 month birthday, our little boy is sleeping in his crib again. through the night. he's teething now, so sometimes he wakes up, but i let him cry. it's been about a week since we started letting him cry it out, and it's changed my life. i get to cuddle next to scott at night. i get to stretch out in my bed, and i get to greet my son each morning feeling refreshed instead of worn out. i love it. i'm happy i'm no longer a co-sleeper.

carving pumpkins

babies and puppies part 2

i told you they were besties.

happy 9 months, baby

this kid is 9 months old. still a tiny peanut at 16lbs, he is the love of our lives. he's standing, trying to walk, babbles all the time, and loves to read. i can't believe he'll be 1 year old in a few short months. we just love him so much. it's insane how big he's getting.

babies and puppies

we have a family dog, chiot (french for puppy), that we've had for 8 years. by "we" i mean myself, my sister, my mom and step dad. she spends some time at my house with scott and griffin, and in a month or so we're adopting her (my parents are downsizing and don't want to take the dog). griffin is absolutely obsessed with her. he's currently crawling around the house following her. it's the first time in 9 months that he hasn't cried for me to play with him while i try to do laundry, clean, do dishes, etc. i think i might like this dog ownership thing... she certainly keeps the little guy entertained.

the little dude

hanging out with the little dude has been so much fun lately. he's getting so fun and loves to play. i'm so lucky i get to spend every day with him.

8 months old

can you believe this kid is 8 months old? he is such a joy. he is so happy and smiley. he has three emotions: crying (angry or frustrated), happy, and serious. he's hilarious. he loves to give kisses and cuddles. he's absolutely obsessed with me and has recently become such a daddy's boy on scott's days off. it's too cute. it's like he knows that he only has so much time to get daddy snuggles in, and so on scott's day off all griffin wants to do is hang out with his dad. it's just the best to see them together. griffin has changed our lives completely and we are so in love with him. absolutely, completely enamored by this little guy and that adorable smile. happy 8 months, griffin. we sure are lucky to have you around.

7 months old

today someone is 7 months old. i can't believe it! it feels like he just came home from the hospital and now, here we are, watching him play in his exersaucer and feeding him solid food. 7 month old griffin is tiny and we love it. he eats all the time and loves everything we give him. he's actually a pretty good and mellow baby, minus the screaming himself to sleep and waking up in the middle of the night. he says "dada" all the time, and loves to say "baba" and only says "mama" when he's screaming. he is learning to wave and is starting to say "hi". it's the cutest. he still doesn't sit up on his own, or crawl yet, but it'll come soon enough. we sure do love this little guy (but i'd love him a little more if he slept through the night)

6 month old Griffin

i think he kind of looks like joanna goddard's son, toby, in this picture.

6 month old Griffin loves to eat! he's eating avocado, squash, bananas, and apples. we're starting sweet potatoes tomorrow, and after that it'll be on to peas. at first i was sad that he's old enough to start eating (technically he's been old enough for almost two months, but i delayed it because of the gastroschisis. now i'm very happy that he's eating and growing up. oh, the perils of being a mom. i'm both sad and happy that he's growing up. i suppose that's never going to change. this child lights up our lives. scott & i love him so much. we get to have family snuggles every morning, since scott is always home in the mornings now (yay new job!), and it's the highlight of my day. i sure do love this little guy.

veronica becomes a mrs. and griffin starts to eat

the weekend of july 9th my wonderful friend veronica got married!! i was a bridesmaid, and it was a very fun day. my dad even watched griffin over night so scott & i wouldn't have to worry about bringing a baby to a wedding.

veronica holding griffin at brunch the day after the wedding

scott had a very good night.

the wedding was very fun, and i'm happy for veronica but i think i'm done with being in weddings (except for being the bride, of course). it's just a lot of work and money and i missed my little boy. it would've been a bit more fun just being a guest and getting to sit next to my fiance at dinner. also, i totally lost it and really started missing griffin before the night was over. i was convinced he wasn't sleeping for my dad and missed us. haha. ridiculousness

in other griffin news, he's eating solids!!

we started with avocado, and i'm so glad we did!

it's been so easy to take him to a restaurant, order a side of avocado and a demitasse spoon and feed the griff monster. but the other day at whole foods we discovered the best invention ever:

these packs are squeezable, griffin LOVES them, and they have zero clean up. i'm still making 90% of his food, but these are very handy. so far we've tried apples & bananas. success!!

griffin's weekend according to my iphone

griffin tries to grab everything we drink

we went to a jazz concert at rodney strong vineyards

and griffin wore protective ear muffs when the music started

griffin played with daddy at the concert

and then he fell asleep

scott's parents came into town to hang out and visit, and we painted the living room! i'll post about that soon.

5 months old

5 month old griffin chews on everything, finally loves his sophie the giraffe (see him making out with her in that picture?), and can almost sit on his own. he is a very mellow baby, takes several 1 hour naps a day (really, griff, you can't take a 2 hour nap? what the heck?!), sleeps 12 hours through.the.night, and still wears 0-3 month clothes. he's our peanut and we are so in love with him. i can't believe he's 5 months old already. it is going by too fast.

remember this?

remember this post from this morning? lies. all lies. i can't believe i jinxed myself like that. griffin has had a rough day. he's barely slept. he's only eating 3 ounces at a time, and he is just screaming because he's so tired. he finally fell asleep 10 minutes ago. we'll see how long this lasts for.

teaching griffin

teaching this kid to nap in his crib in the daytime (versus the swing, in my arms, etc) is going surprisingly well. very happy about that.

don't let this face fool you

he may look like the sweetest thing of all time in this picture, but today he is the crankiest of babies. i really hope a tooth is coming in, because he's just being rude.

(trying to) raise a paleo baby

(t-shirt design via balanced bites)

i eat a paleo diet.

i hate using the word "diet" because it makes it sound like it's something that i'll stop doing eventually. but i'm not going to do that. it's a lifestyle change. and paleo works for me.

when i was breast feeding griffin he was also a paleo baby. but now he's not. he's formula fed because he wasn't gaining any weight, and because of our medical history the doctors weren't okay with waiting to see if he'd eventually gain. which i understand.

i would be lying if i said that formula feeding griffin isn't easier, but that doesn't change the fact that i'm disappointed that i'm not breast feeding (all the hours i logged pumping for that baby while he was in the hospital!!) and feel totally guilty at times (like it's my fault).

a few people have talked to me about using raw goat's milk for griffin. it's been used for decades as a replacement to breast milk, and is better on the digestive system than cow's milk (raw goat's milk can digest in a baby's tummy in 20 mins - like breast milk- whereas it takes 8 hours to fully digest cow's milk). there are a few issues i have with using raw goat's milk, but this is my biggest one:

it's raw, which is great, but it can carry bacteria. and if griffin gets any bacterial infection it can attack his bowels and we could lose him. i'm not going to risk that. he's too fragile.

it took awhile to find a formula that worked for griffin and mimicked my breast milk enough for him to digest it well and gain weight (extra calorie formula). he's gaining weight on it, he's healthy, and he's doing well. he will only be on it until he is 1 year old, and then it's off the formula and we get to have milk. and then i might introduce raw goat's milk, if my doctor and surgeon say it's okay to try.

all of that being said, he is 4 1/2 months old now, and at 6 months he gets to start eating real food! our pediatrician said i could start giving him rice cereal if i wanted, though if he "got constipated, which can happen with rice cereal, you can give him oatmeal or barley". umm, no thanks. we're not doing the rice cereal thing. his first foods will be acorn squash, butternut squash, green peas, sweet potatoes, pears, apples, and bananas. yes, i'm making all of his food, and i am so excited for him to eat! i can't wait!! he'll also visit the surgeon about 2 weeks after he starts eating solids so they can monitor how he's doing with solids.

just because he's not paleo now, doesn't mean he won't be.

love.

i absolutely love our little guy. he's passed out in his crib right now, sleeping with his little fists close to his face, maybe a finger or two stuck in his mouth. he is the best. his powdery, rotten milk smell. his drooly mouth and his tiny little lips. they way he grips onto my fingers when he's falling asleep... it's like he never wants me to let go. i love the way he stares at me. i love when he gives me the sweetest, drooly kisses. i love bringing him into the bed with me for morning snuggles. i love the way he burrows in next to a warm body and the way his little head smells. i love the cry he has when he's so tired and is almost asleep. i love watching him sleep. i love standing in his room, leaning over the crib, watching him breathe. i think about what scott & i went through to get him here, and how far we've come since then.

i just love that little guy.

4 month old Griffin

(hanging out with auntie Laura)

4 month old Griffin weighs 11lbs 13oz, is afraid of the garbage disposal, and sleeps through the night (like 90% of the time). He sits supported pretty well, and he loves to stand on your lap and stare in your face. He has the cutest personality, giggles a lot, and loves to flirt. We just love him so much, and I can't believe he's already 4 months. He's growing up too fast!

this face...

... is the best. so much love for this little guy. and for the bigger guy that helped me create this little dude.